“Don’t get overly attached to her”
Fuck buddies are an odd kind of relationship. It’s supposed to just be about satisfying your basic desires, and that can be fantastic, but if you let things go for too long you’re going to see that you’ve actually built up a relationship with them. It’s not what you were supposed to do, and things aren’t going to go well for you now that you have. Your only hope is to keep pressing on. When it’s time to call it quits you have to handle this the same way that you would any break up, but you can’t use those terms. Here are some things that you’ll need to do in order to make this transition smooth.
Accept That It’s Going to Be Nasty
Before you go into this you need to accept that there isn’t one magical solution. Her feelings are going to be hurt, you’re going to miss her (or at least the sex, because even bad, boring, or bland sex is still sex) and it’s all going to be kind of sad. It’s unfortunate, but that’s the way that it has to be. The first thing that you have to do is mentally prep yourself the same way you would for a break up. Remind yourself why you’re doing this, and tell yourself that you’re going to be better off for it whether that’s true or not.
Talk about How You’ve Grown Apart Sexually
“Lets face it, its not working”
The trickiest part of breaking things off with a friend with benefits is that things are so often going to be messy but you can’t tell her what it’s really about. Maybe you want to end things because you know that you’re getting feelings for her. More likely, you think that she’s fallen for you and you don’t want to date her. That’s not something that you can tell her. For one, she’s going to feel like you used her even though your agreement was clear from the start. In addition to that you don’t want to look like an idiot if you accuse her of having feelings for you and it turns out that you were wrong.
The only thing you can do is tell her that sexually it just isn’t working out how it used to. You can either tell her that you want to explore other, kinkier interests that you know she wouldn’t support or you’re going to have to say that you’re just bored. Either way try to make sure that it’s just about the sex when you dump her. It’s always been only about the sex, right?
Make the Effort to Stay in Touch
If you want to protect her feelings as much as possible, keep chatting to her nonsexual if you did before. If you were part of the same social circle and laughed and talked often, don’t suddenly start to avoid her. Give her space but keep giving her links to YouTube videos you think she should watch and so on. This little contact will help her feel like she wasn’t used.