“Should I message her?”
The Internet may seem like a giant place, but when it comes to looking online or even in town for a hookup we don’t always come up with new options. The same women pop up over and over again, but even worst, they start to repeat themselves. Your ex is pretty likely to make an appearance on your sex personal list or even at the bars you go to. The question becomes: is it okay to hook up with your ex? There’s a reason that she’s not with you anymore, obviously, but it’s more complicated than that. It’s also somewhere you’ve already been, but is that really a good thing?
The pros can be found, you just have to look for them. More often than not if you’re considering hooking up with an ex she has to be either really hot or, and this is the more likely of the two, you’re lonely. You haven’t been able to find someone else to get it on with. That’s okay. You’ve already been with your ex, you know that you like what’s going on there, and you know how to press the buttons in all the right orders. It doesn’t seem bad when you think about it logically.
Besides having conquered that land before, sleeping with an ex means that you’re going to get some kind of boost out of it. Having sex will make you feel better because, hellooo sex. But even beyond the primal satisfaction you’re going to have a confidence boost. It’s nice having someone want to sleep with you. That means that you’re desirable. Even guys want to feel wanted, and she’s going to fulfill that for you.
“Tell her that she doesn’t deserve you anymore and walk away”
The cons are what really tip the scales here. Even though you’ve been there, done that, doesn’t mean you should do it again. The temporary boost that you get through having sex with your ex is followed up with the terrible memory that it’s all over. Things may have ended just fine and you don’t feel residual love, but you still get reminded that you weren’t enough to make things work for her. It’s not the worst thing, but it’s not the best. That’s if the breakup wasn’t a fiery rage of doom. In that case you’ll be completely tormented by the fact that she’ll have sex with you but won’t actually be with you. You start questioning yourself and then get caught up in her again. That’s not good.
Besides destroying your own emotions, hooking up with an ex is likely to start rumors. You may not think that you care about this, but when your friends find out and tell their girlfriends they’re all going to be talking about it and think that there’s way more going on than there really is. Your guy friends will be stuck in between and no one will be happy. Truthfully, it’s probably better to forget the ex and go with someone who you haven’t had relations with before.